South East Eye Fail

My name is Dianna , I'm writing you to complain about the recent service both my children received at South East Eye Specialists in Tallahassee Florida.
Back in mid to late June I called Prestige to ask about what pediatric ophthalmologists in town are covered since our last pediatric ophthalmologist hasn't been able to complete a contract with Prestige. I was referred to James Stephens and John Bell at South East Eye Specials. So I called them to make appointments for my children, my daughter Adeline being 6 and son Ethan was 1 at the time. We had two separate appointments that where easy to make. I made it clear that my son is young but still needs to have his prescription checked. So my daughter was scheduled for an appointment with Stephens for later in September, and my son had an appointment with Bell August 27th.

I got a call the week of August 18th, saying that the office is holding a clinic for medicaid patients to come in and get caught up in appointments in time for school. We then where scheduled for a Saturday 2pm appointment. We got to the office, filled out paperwork for my daughter, I also filled out paperwork for my son since he was going to be seen within 4 days. The beginning was fine of the appointment, I don't know which doctor saw my daughter. The appointment was going alright. I was explaining to the doctor about my daughters history of wearing glasses since we have been going for over three years to get her eyes checked. I was explaining that she had a large jump in her prescription a year ago. The doctor I was talking to then tried to brush off her history claiming that my daughter wasn't in her full prescription. I then tried to tell him that she has been in a full prescription for at least 2 years, and he just ignored me. Then appointment ended shortly after and my daughter got to pick out new glasses. There was a representative from The Hour Glass at the office with glasses for the kids. I've had a family history of eye turning in my family and personally know how to pick out glasses for my child, and the representative just gave her some glasses to look at but wasn't paying attention to how large or small her head is or how the lenses would be on her eyes. To help children at risk of eye turns, when picking out glasses you need to have a pair of glasses where the lenses help center the pupil in center of the lenses. I guess the representative hasn't been fully trained to fit children to glasses, so I picked out the ones that would best work for my daughter. After the glasses, they did not make a follow up appointment to see my daughter, and we left.
After the comment from the doctor on Saturday about not listening to my daughters history, I was a little worried about how my now 2 year old sons appointment was going to go.
On Wednesday, we arrived to the office at 1:40pm for my sons 1:45 appointment. Knowing that I had already filled out his paperwork and gave them a copy of his insurance card and my drivers license. We go to open the door to the office and it is locked. I was shocked, I had checked the time of my appointment and earlier in the day I received a call to confirm the appointment for my son with Robert Assantes. Which was strange since when we had made the appointment over a month and a half earlier we made the appointment with Doctor Bell. I brushed it off, understanding that emergencies happen so that is maybe why he was not going to be able to see my son. So I start knocking on the front door and after a couple minutes of standing outside with my son someone comes up and unlocks the door stating that everyone is out to lunch and don't come back until 2pm. Which was very confusing since that was 15 minutes past the time of a scheduled appointment. About 2:15 we are finally called to the back, the nurse who took us to a room asked me to fill out another set of the same paperwork I filled out Saturday since they couldn't find it. I also had the prescription of the last pair of glasses my son was prescribed. So after 10 minutes of trying to decipher the way a ophthalmologist writes a prescription to how a optometrist writes one, and figuring out something with paperwork she took us to a different to attempt putting him on a machine where he needs to look in a small hole to read his eyes. My son was not having any of that. Then they tried to do a 3D test. Typically these are preformed on older children who have the ability to speak, who know letters and different animals. My son may have a hearing problem and has a speech delay. He knows only a handful of words, and does not speak that often. I tried to tell the nurse that my son just turned 2 and doesn't know his animals. She still tried. The nurse then wanted to dialte my sons eyes, which is fine, we have done this before since my son has been having his eyes checked since he was 6 months old. She asked me to restrain my son by myself so she could try to put the drops in his eyes. This tends to need another nurse to help restrain a small child along with the parent to successfully get the eye drops in. He may have got some of the drops his eyes, since he was flailing while I was trying lay him in my lap and restrain him and hold his head down. Then the wait for the eye drops to kick in which can take 15 to 20 minutes. Then a doctor comes in and greets us. Trying to explain how the appointment was going to go. He asked me if I had anything that his nurse could in the back of the room to try to distract him. My son can barely see 2 feet in front of him, and to try to look at something two inches in size five and a half feet back in a dark room is impossible. I also again am told to completely restrain him by myself, this is actually a three to four person job. The way that the doctor was trying to go through the exams was that of a doctor who doesn't see young children. When my son didn't cooperate with how he was going with the appointment the doctor asked me how the previous doctor preformed the exam I told him that my son would have to be restrained by a few people, while someone held an eye open for them to look at it. The doctor then tried something else asking me to restrain my son, then quit. The doctor asked me how my son was doing at his doctors appointments and I told him that my son may have a possible speech delay and hearing issue. The doctor then asked me if my son was Autistic. I told the doctor no, he asked me again, I reiterated my previous answer of No. The doctor then went on to say that he can't finish the exam, that maybe my son should return once a year for him to acclimate to the office and equipment. That the previous prescription was good for five years even though I stated that his prescription was only one third of his full prescription. Then he stated that the reading the previous doctor got was not correct anyway and probably was a misreading, though he did believe that my son was diffidently near sided(meaning he can't see far away). The doctor explained that he sees people who try to bring in children as early  one and a half years in a mocking way, like you can't diagnose eye problems in children. So he ended the visit. We went up to the check out desk to make another appointment for my son and my daughter since her appointment wasn't made after her appointment, and the staff seemed confused that I'm even asking for another appointment for my son.

My complaint is the complete lack of professionalism of the staff and doctors. For them scheduling my childs appointment before their office was even open, for the constant switch in doctors for who my children where actually going to see. For a doctor to expect my 2 year old son to sit through a exam for a 4 or 5 year old, then when he couldn't that he wanted to say my child is autistic. Then for the doctor to discredit our previous doctors diagnosis because he didn't know how to do an exam on a two year old. He then had the audacity to try to poke fun at parents who are concerned about eye issues with their small children. Then for the doctor to not even acknowledge my daughters history in her glasses. I find this office to be a complete joke and do not trust them to diagnose my children correctly. The staff is not qualified in the lest bit to accurately diagnose children. They are not trained to practice pediatric optometry, and therefore you should not be referring your members to that office.
The doctors in Leon County that have the credentials to see children and correct diagnose them are Francis Skilling, and Brian Sherman. They are the only ones in the county or surrounding counties that properly see children but have not been able to contact Prestige to finish a contract. I've called numerous times asking to talk to someone about what is going on, and they only refer me to a number that the doctors office can call. Which is not helpful since I don't work for that office nor can I take my children there because the visit would not be covered by Prestige. I have now asked for a referral to take my children to a hospital in Jacksonville Florida to be seen by a specialist there since the only qualified Ophthalmologist is two hours away from town.

I understand that my children and I are medicaid patients, on government assistance. I believe that even though that is the case, children should be allowed to have correct care to help prevent having even larger issues. To be told that my 2 year old sons prescription is okay for 5 years is not something someone who is qualified to see children say since a childs eye sight can change within 3 to 6 months.

If anyone has any questions they need to ask me, I would be more than happy to speak with anyone.

2 months

It's been two months since I lost Robin. I still feel utterly guilty. It's all my fault that I lost them. Erik and I have been trying since to try to get pregnant again. On purpose this time. And now it doesn't look like that's going to happen.

I am heart broken.

And everyone is finding out what they are having and different announcements that they are pregnant.

I want to crawl in to a hole, cry, and not get out, ever.

And I still feel guilty about feeling bad about my miscarriage. I only knew I was pregnant for 4 days, why do I get to grieve?

One of my mommy friends lost her little one not that long ago, she was a lot further along than I was. Someone else, she is celebrating one year without her son, he was born silent.


All of this just sucks

The worst day of my life.

Can I just mention that Abortion jokes are just flat out not funny. I don't give a flying fuck on your opinion on the unborn, that shit is just not cool.

I've gone over and over what to write. I don't keep journals, I have really stopped keeping an online blog, well, because I OVER share.

Teenagers should never EVER EVER EVER have online blogs. They should have paper ones, with disappearing ink.

I hate the fact that I'm writing this because it makes it more final, more real.

About three weeks ago on April 11th, I found out I was expecting my third child.
Now, I was on the Mini-Pill, so this came as a Gigantic shock, and I was having a hard time coming to terms with it. Money is tight and behind in some things. So finding out I was pregnant stressed me out so bad considering things that where going on. I found out on a Friday so I got to be at home that weekend to process it. That Friday I made some of the best Vegetable Beef Stew I have ever made. I was feeling good. Over the weekend I applied for medicaid, and I even made a baby registry, because, I mean, losing the pregnancy just never crossed my mind.

Well, Tuesday morning started like every other, I had to wake myself up and get Addy ready and take her to school. So I do like I always do, push Ethan into Eriks arms but not before waking him up so he knows to roll over, then I get up and pee. By the time I wipe I see bright red blood, I look into the toilet bowl and see what probably was the baby. I may have been about 4 weeks, so it was just a glob.

I walk out, tell Erik very matter of factly that "I lost the baby", got Addy ready for school and walked her to class.

Erik was in his own shock, he took finding out that we where expecting alot better than I did. But when I said that I guess he just didn't know how to handle that. So by the time I get home we make the decision that It was time to go to the ER. So took a shower, got Ethan changed and dressed and we left for the ER.

When we reached the ER, I didn't want to have to sign in for myself and have to write down Miscarriage, being I guess hopeful, I wrote down possible miscarriage, and I was still hoping that this just wasn't real. But after some blood work, they told me I probably was and to come back in a couple days, because, well, I have no doctor to go to, I had medically needy and the OB/GYN I have seen since I was 18 wouldn't take anything other than pregnancy medicaid. And Pregnant I was no longer.

I keep going over what it could I have done that made me lose my baby. Was I too stressed out? Did I over exert myself? Did I eat something I shouldn't? Was it because I was taking the mini pill? Was it because I had an IUD?

Because it just had to have been something I did. This was the first time I have miscarried.

So after we left the hospital, Erik took me to lunch at Sonny's, and It took everything that was in me to not lose it. He drove us home, and it was time to call my mom because there was no way in hell that I was telling her right then. So I told her that I was sick with whatever Erik had.

We get home, I pull blankets up on the couch and I never left that couch all day. Erik picked up Addy and for the most part took care of Ethan. But I just sat there, eating crap food and crying.

The next day I told myself I had to suck it up and just go to work. But after answering a couple phone calls, I just wasn't feeling like being there.

So I did something really stupid, and I tried to confide in my mom.

Well, I told her that the Friday before I found out I was pregnant. So she turned her back on me.... Should I be surprised that this would be her response? Nope. So then I told her that I found out the day before I had lost it. And then began the third degree of "Well, where you trying? Where you taking your pill? What time do you take your pill? What brand are you on? What else can you take since apparently it's not working. You know you can use foams"

Go figure, Thanks a whole lot mom! Just what I need!

To clear some things up, Addy was conceived when I quit taking my birth control, the relationship was over and I wasn't expecting to have sex anymore. That whole situation is a whole different novel of an explanation.

Ethan was made because Erik and I wanted to have a baby. We made an effort and a conscious decision to make him.

That baby was a accident and surprise.

And everything in me wishes that I could have it back.

I wish I knew if I was finally going to have my second little girl, or was it going to be another little boy?
What color hair and eyes was it going to have?
What name would we have given it?

And I desperately want to give it a name. I Don't want to call them an IT, they don't deserve to be called an IT. It wasn't just a clump of cells to me, It didn't matter that it didn't have a heart beat.

I. Lost. My. Baby.

I ended up leaving work. I ended up getting the "I'm sorry you lost your baby" from my dad. Which felt empty.

For Fucks sake, really?

Speed up to the Thursday, I went back to the ER alone after work and Erik came home. Confirmed that I was back to before pregnancy level of HGC in my blood, the bleeding was letting up.
There was only one person at the ER who told me sorry for your loss.
My SIL and brother, some mommies I've gotten close to and the few friends that I told sent me their condolences.

But between the crying I got angry. I am still angry.
The only thing I am halfway decent is having kids. I've done it twice so far, and now I can't even do that.

It's still really hard.

And I have so many friend who are pregnant, they are having little boys and girls. One of my close friends was being very kind to me and told me that she was expecting and I ended up finding out what she was having before the big announcement. She was further along than me when she lost her angel a year ago. Her new little girl is her Rainbow Baby, and I am so happy for her.

But it still make me envious, and sad.

I don't even think that I deserve to grieve, because I was too early for the baby to develop. And I feel guilty for being sad. I have no right to grieve my miscarriage, I was only maybe 4 weeks. What right to I have to grieve when I know people who lose their newborns? their 28 weekers? They make it over the scary 1st Trimester and are in it for the long haul and then they lose their angels? What Right Do I Have?

I still don't think I deserve to. But I desperately want people to know I have three children. I want that child to have a name. Because somehow that makes them more real.

This is where I'm happy that I was raised in the church I was, that sometimes people don't have to be here that long, they did enough before that their time here just needs to be short. That only special people are mean't to be the parents of these special little souls. They have no judgement needed, they are already in Heaven with God and Christ.

Erik has been amazing these past few weeks, and I have fallen back in love with him, he is there to hold me when I cry, to tell me that it wasn't my fault. He has truly became my partner through this horrible time.

We actually agreed that we would give them a name, their name is Robin. We love Robin and I hope that one day I am worthy to meet Robin when I die.